Through thick and thin and rain and snow and ice...

The "thick and thin" refer to the swelling nodes in my throat. The "rain and snow and ice" refer to (obviously!) the weather outside. But through thick and thin and rain and snow and ice I did it. Everyday this week. At 7:00 in the morning.

I used to hate mornings. I guess I still do but now that I can't go back to sleep once I've been awakened, it's just more satisfying to get up and accomplish good things on the treadmill.

Mom, you CAN sing along too. Karen and I made CDs for you and Stacy too. You'll have to ask her if they were mailed out. Margie, did you get yours?

So last night I went to bed angry at me for my demons. I woke up still angry. It's a good thing there wasn't a wait for the treadmill because I would've been more angry. But "I Just Called" started and I knew it would be a different work out when I had no desire to sing. And then when "Summer of 69" came on and I decided to sing even if I didn't want to, I opened my mouth and tears fell out of my eyes. So I broke all the rules this morning and started to run. I didnt' keep my pace at a walk, I ran. And I didn't stop at 20 minutes and I didn't stop at 1 mile. I decided to run my demons out. (It's Friday after all and with a perfet score this week I could give my body the weekend to recoop.) I clipped along at a comfortable 4.8 mph and told myself not to think about how fast I was going, or how long I was running, to just be aware when I got too tired to keep going. Then I would go faster instead of stopping and cry later becasue I over did it. But before I knew it Gloria Gayner was singing the last fast song. So I hit the button to set the pace at 5 mph. When the cool down started I had gone almost a mile and a half total. I went another quarter mile or so by the time I felt I had cooled down properly.

I sweated. So I had to take a shower. AND I can't wear those pjs to bed tonight either. I got dressed and gave my kids cereal for breakfast. I could do that today because We had real breakfast meals all week long. Then I made the boys' lunch for school and ate a hard boiled egg and cottage cheese. Two good protein items.

I'm doing great, right? Great dinners all week... great breakfasts each morning... not a single miss on the treadmill this week... I even get dressed in the mornings and make my bed!

All that doesn't change the fact that I'm still abusive. That I yell too loud - in their faces. And that I smacked Bryant upside the head yesterday... again.